


Don’t threaten me with a good time

by languageismymistress



Series: Death of a Bachelor [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 08:19:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18028160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/languageismymistress/pseuds/languageismymistress
Summary: Some say the dumbest of ideas come in the clearest of moments





	Don’t threaten me with a good time

 

Some say the dumbest ideas come in the clearest of moments. Okay, no one says that but Klaus feels like someone should say that because it is the truth. He had evidence. The ice cream truck incident was one, yes okay, Diego injured himself but he always does so nothing dramatic really did happen. Okay, the apocalypse did come and they turned younger and then older and then there was that weird moment with the purple hair and the comic style faces but afterwards, they were fine.

 

Anyway, Klaus digressed, this is a story of his brilliance and Diego’s need to look after him which made him a perfectly good accomplice. Whether he knew this or not, Ben pointed out, did not matter. What mattered was the Even Siblings were having a fun day out. Were having a fun day out. Klaus should have checked the background of the people who sold him the tickets and the stadiums whereabouts beforehand but, in his own defence, there was no knowing Diego made ‘friends’ everywhere he went. Said friend who were now firing tiny bullets at them. Little metallic balls of death.

 

Diego, bless his dear vulnerable stabby soul, did his best to fire back at them. It was just rather unfortunate that for him to fire back it meant that with each throw, a knife was lost. Klaus said a silent goodbye and prayer for each one as they embedded themselves into their victims. Tiny bullets meet sharp knives. A match for the era. Sharp pointy things v the very things that give him nightmares at night.

 

_Sweet innocent loving Dave’s face still calms him when the echo of guns shatter his mind._

Diego, no Ben, _shit wrong sibling,_ BEN THE DEAD! hit his side, allowing him enough time to curve around an oncoming truck. Klaus want to yell. Diego did instead.

 

“Will you drive straight?”

 

“I can’t even think straight, how the-,” a loud truck blasted its horn at them followed by shouting from the lovely gentlemen trying to kill them, “fuck do you expect me to drive straight?!”

 

Diego looked tempted to stab him and in that moment, he was offended.

 

“Just. Drive.”

 

Klaus knew the soft mumbled _dickhead_ was said with love and not malice. Ben nodded. Diego cared, no, loved them. Him. Ben was optional with the whole being dead thing but that was more of a question of whether one could love the dead. Diego still loved their Mom so Klaus guessed, _knew,_ Diego did in fact love Ben too.

 

“Jesus Ben! Take the wheel!”

 

Once again, Diego looked tempted to stab him. This time though, Klaus was not offended. This one may be legitimate. He’s not sure. Drugs would give him a clear response but it was clear from Ben punching him, Klaus was now a ‘hugs not drugs’ kind of guy. It’s a whole new experience for all. Learning what is real, what is dead and figuring out if it’s all in his head.

 

“LEFT!”

 

Diego’s voice, as usual, dragged him from his rhetorical questions. A snap from daydream to reality. A poke to his side.

 

“Is that a knife Diego or are you just happy to see me?”

 

Diego held up a knife.

 

Klaus called bullshit.

 

Ben turned the vehicle left.

 

Diego’s ‘friends’ drove pass the laneway.

 

A good win all round.

 

 


End file.
